Friendship - Understanding It

By: Alfred Chai Wei Liang

There are many kinds of friends. Good or bad or in between, they are people. And people are intuitive. Trust, is most prevalent in the closest friendships.

Friends come and go, really. In life, the number of great friends actually decrease. Why? Despite knowing more and more people as time progresses, people change. Often, it is the common things that bind people together, creating friendships. The 'problem' of friends who change, we always find them different. It is this difference that clashes with the 'common things' discussed earlier.

In real fact, being in a friendship require social skills. The thing is, not everyone is capable of certain level of these skills. Take this case for example. A stranger who is socially skilled can be 100% comfortable with you. In other words, he can be himself. The effect is, you would develop a strong liking for this particular stranger. What explains the strong liking or admiration (that serves as backbone for most friendships) can be traced back to one thing, social skills. Today, the modern world measure social skills, like the measurable brute strength that cavemen had in stone age times.

On the contrary, you can easily find 2 friends who are the complete opposite with each other. One would be reacting to another more. The another can be always seen taking charge, making most decisions. Such co operation exists. In this case, opposites attract. For examples, a talkative person with a quiet one, and the leader in a group with his other 'follower' friends.

Friendship also requires 'lubrication'. When you do not see a person for a long time ('not lubricating'), the friendship can go in different paths. This 'lubrication effect' is especially prevalent in 'hi bye' friends, mere acquaintances. Best friends often 'lubricate' when they meet every time. But still, friends who change (good or bad) remains the factor that affects the friendship.

"Friendship is mostly based upon values being exchanged between 2 or more persons". These values can be social values (compliments, making the other person feel good), monetary gains, society hierarchy (boss and employee) among many other values. In lay man term, wherever there is something to gain, friendships can prosper. I am not saying that all friendships are based upon this. But, as a young adult, I think this is the norm.

I wish humans, particularly adults, can live like children again. The essence of innocence, drives forces like honesty and simplicity. That these 2 alone, will dissolve all complex thoughts that are governing us. This one aspect, I believe can inspire true friendship.

Alfred writes on self improvement and provides useful tips about its relevant topics. You can also find him where he has a latest website at http://www.yamahaguitaracoustic.com/ which helps people find cheap Yamaha acoustic guitar when looking for reviews and Yamaha acoustic guitar descriptions.